It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
