Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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