My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
