just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
