Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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