Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
