I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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