you guys were way drunker than both of me
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
