Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
