Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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