is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
