Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
