i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
