spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Found your dick twin last night
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sext me about skeletons
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
