Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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