does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
