i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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