So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
