these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
