I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
