Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
And then my night got REAL pukey
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
