Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
