worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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