he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You've changed since you got that strap on
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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