final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
