I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
