I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
This toilet bowl is my home.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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