I heard we made out
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she looked like the before picture.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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