He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
