Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
her vagine was all disorganized.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
