dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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