The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
