And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
