just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
