So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
