so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
