did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
