Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
