Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
