Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
