Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
