How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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