Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
