were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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