ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
