Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
