I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
