I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
