She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
