I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
