she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
