well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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