So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
