you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
