But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
