gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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